Lilys Diary Year 6
by Ginny Wealsy
Summary: Here's Lily's 6th year read about how she deals with everything that is thrown at her
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Harry Potter

September 1st (Night)

Dear Diary

Well today was pretty good I got on the train and I went and sat with Isabelle and Marah and well we talked about our summers and then I saw Remus and said hi and he is still a prefect which is really good because I wouldn't know who else Dumbledore would choose because Remus has really high grades and well I don't know who else would even want to take Remus's place. I am glad that the feast went by without so much as a prank from James but well I am sure that he is up to something because he will come up with something, he always does. I really enjoyed talking with Isabella and Marah though because I didn't really talk with them that much after James dumped me. Marah said that she got a good OWL score and so did Isabella. When I told them that I got a perfect score they weren't that shocked because they knew that I had studied and reviewed and how I did on everything else. We also talked about where they went over the summer while I stayed in London Isabella went to Paris and Marah went to China and I wish that I could have gone with them but I guess they were so caught up in their own lives that they didn't have time to write me and see if I wanted to go with them….or maybe their parents wanted it to be family only.

The feast gosh what words to use to express how wonderful it was, I mean there was so much food that I wanted to eat but I can only eat so much but oh my gosh it was so good this year I mean there was even chocolate cake as one of the choices for desert. I know that I shouldn't talk about food but gosh it was amazing.

I love being back here at Hogwarts even though I miss getting to see Severus being himself and having a room to myself but its good to be back with my friends and back to doing work and reading about potions and charms which are my favorite subjects here because they are the most interesting.

Well I am tired and need to get some rest for tomorrow because its going to be a long day.

Night

Lily

September 2nd (Early Morning)

Dear Diary

Well I woke up really early and I am not sure why but I am kinda nervous about today even though I shouldn't be because I am going to be fine, I always worry on the first day that I wont do my best and that I will do something stupid and mess up the whole day for myself and all my friends but I always seem to do better than I thought that I would. I am excited because well I am now a 6th year and that is exciting because after next year I will be a graduate of Hogwarts and follow my dreams wherever they take me and that just excites me.

Well I am going to go and get ready for the day because I can't be laying in bed all day because summer is now over and now its time to start getting into making myself look like summer was good for me, wear my hair different and add some makeup.

I will try to write later if I can.

Bye for now

Lily

September 2nd (Night)

Well here I am in the common room writing because everyone has gone to sleep or on the other side of the room. I had an ok day it started with Charms and that was my best class but we got so much work to do in every class but that's ok I am going to do it after I finish writing in you because then it will be really silent in here and I can finish everything that's due tomorrow which is a very easy charms essay and some transfiguration homework but that wont be so bad I mean I may not be great at it but I am still going to do my best and that's all that anyone can expect from me.

I am really glad that my day went great and that nobody teased me, well I could tell that James and his friends wanted to but Remus told them not to so I would assume that they went and teased Severus and I always try to tell them not to because they should be treating him fairly because he hasn't done anything to them except be in a different house and to me that's not bad because everyone should be treated fairly but deep inside I know that's not going to happen.

Well I better go because I need to do my homework

Night

Lily

September 5th

Well today was a good day because I got to at last go to potions and I really like that class because not only am I good at it its just really interesting to me because you have to think and pay attention, I was very shocked to see James and his friends in the class because I never thought that I would EVER see them in a class that's NEWT level because I didn't think that they had the brains to get that far in potions. I also saw James in my charms class and my transfiguration class. I knew he would be in my DADA class but well it just really shocks me about the other classes. I guess he can be smart when he wants to be and I guess on the days we took our OWLs he wanted to be as smart as he could.

I also heard this one rumor from Marah that he's starting to date Wendy and she is one of the biggest whores in our class and I always saw that coming after him and I broke up so I guess that I am going to have to keep my eyes out for the 'New' couple….not like I am that overjoyed about this.

Well I am going to go because I need to do some homework.

Bye

Lily

Authors Note

Sorry for taking so long I have been busy with college and my NAVY boyfriend but I will get the next chapter out as soon as I can…I will finish this soon


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Harry Potter!!

September 15th (Night)

Dear Diary

So today was another busy day with homework and prefects duty which includes going around school with the other prefect of our house but I am so use to doing it on my own because Remus is always either sick or gone. I wish that there was some way that I could figure out what was wrong with him but that's ok. I am just looking forward to the weekend, where I can hang out with my friends and maybe relax because I am so tired because I hardly sleep anymore. When I do sleep I have awful nightmares and then I am awake for the rest of the night or I sleep so fitfully that I wake up feeling tired than I have ever felt.

I haven't seen James this week but that's ok because I don't really mind. I haven't really seen Remus either so I have been doing my prefect duties on my own but that's ok because its given me a chance to think and I guess I needed that because now I feel better about myself and how I am planning on dealing with this year and next because this is a big deal I mean I am not going to be able to come back after next year so that's a big deal and also I am going to work hard this year to make head girl and be able to have my own room away from the tower and be able to study away from the loudness of the common room. I hate that common room because its always so loud and everyone is either talking or having a party and you can also see all the couples making out and that gets old after awhile so I have learned to ignore everything but its going to be nice after awhile to have my own room and everything. I would assume that I would share a common room with the head boy but I don't know I have never seen the head rooms and I guess I COULD ask but I would rather find out next year.

I have a lot of homework to do so I am going to go because I should do that and get some sleep because I have charms in the morning then transfiguration.

Night

Lily

September 20th (Morning)

Dear Diary

The day has just started for me and I am already ready for it to end…I had an awful dream and these are the times I could still go to James's room and fall asleep next to him but now I have to be strong and find a way to go back to sleep on my own. I guess I can be glad that today is Saturday and not a day that I would have to go to class and be tired and not do my best but I am just going to write in you for a bit because I need to think some happy thoughts and clear my mind before I decide to try and sleep again because I might sleep better if my mind is clear and calm and not all hyped up or thinking about a lot of things like it has these past few nights where I have these dreams, but if I go to sleep calm and not thinking about anything I don't have them which is weird but I am not going to go and talk with the Headmaster or anyone else because I don't want them to think that I am crazy because it seems that anything that you talk about gets spread around school and the last thing I need spread around school is that I am nuts and can't handle the least amount of pressure when I can because that's just what I do on a daily basis because I am a prefect and I work on a lot of homework and stuff like that. I guess I also don't want the whole staff to know about these dreams because then they will worry about me and keep a closer eye on me then they already do and it drives me insane because I hate it when they don't let me do my own thing and how I can never be a real teenager like Marah and Isabella and break the rules but I guess that's a good thing and really they are acting better now that I am a prefect and Remus is the other prefect even though he hardly does his patrolling around the school.

Well I think I am going to try and sleep some more because I need to catch up on my sleep

Bye

Lily

October 14th (Night)

Dear Diary

I have been so busy with school that I forgot to write in you and I am really sorry about that. I guess that 6th year really has been harder for me this past month and I am wishing that I didn't have to worry about it and that it could be the next break but I know that that is far off and I guess I am going to have to put up with this and study long and hard and get through this. I know that I can because I am smart and know how to make it through these kinds of things. But with Remus not helping with prefect duties and having so much work that I have been stressed out and everything, I can hardly sleep anymore because I have to stay up late doing homework and studying when I should be either relaxing or sleeping. I guess I should tell Remus to start helping me when he is trying to catch up on his school work because I can't do this on my own anymore and I can't handle this anymore. I guess I have finally gotten so stressed out and everything that I am going to ask for help.

So far I haven't seen any pranks and I am kind of glad because I don't want to put up with that this term. I have too much to do then to have to deal with James and his friends pranks and I know that they are very childish to do when you are 16 so I am going to hope that this term that James lays off the pranks and jokes and gets into his books and Quidditch but I guess that might be too much to ask for because I am going to bet that James is planning a prank because he always does and I know that its either going to be aimed at me or Severus so I am going to hope that he doesn't do anything at all but I don't know. I am going to also hope that he gets caught by someone before he does anything totally stupid because that would be really funny. I just don't want to get pranked this term and I would rather not see anyone get that.

Well it's late and I am tired so I am going to get some sleep because I have to be up early to go and study.

Night

Lily

November 1st (Night)

Dear Diary

Sorry that I haven't written but I got kind of busy with all my school work and I guess I got caught up in everything that was going on around here seeing as 6th year has been pretty busy and its not even close to being done. I still have to get ready for tests that lead up to finals and everything else that we have to do. I am just wishing that it was Christmas because then I would be going home for the holidays and seeing my family again. I would say that getting to spend the whole Summer holidays with them was just odd because I had spent the summer before with the Potters, I wonder if I will ever get to do that again…..I wish I could but once James decides to act his age which I doubt will happen I mean he wasn't bad until after we broke up and everything but I would say that I have handled it pretty well and I have stayed strong like I knew I could, with the help of Marah and Isabella of coarse. They kept me sane and from crying and told me to get myself back to work and act as normal as possible and that would help my broken heart and cause time to go by faster than I would ever think that it could. I would love to say that my James free life has been great but I miss him badly and wish he would take time to grow up and ask me out in any way that's not a joke like he's been.

Well I better go because I am tired and need some sleep for classes tomorrow.

Night

Lily

Authors Note: Sorry for the delay I have been busy with life and college, the bf and joining the Navy…. I should have chapter 3 up ASAP.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Harry Potter

I don't own Harry Potter

November 15th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I know it's been awhile but all these NEWT level classes have been really hard since well it's a month until the winter break and I can't wait. I haven't even really had time to write in you. I have been staying up half the night reading textbooks and writing essays it's been really crazy and I am thankful for the break that I got. I can't believe that this year has been this hard and this much work on top of being a prefect, at least I have Remus to help me do patrol duty and stuff. Even though I do it alone a lot of the time but its ok because its going to get me ready for if I make Head Girl next year. I really hope that I do make it because I have been working really hard to reach my goal and so far I have with having top marks and being a prefect. I just have to work a little bit harder to make Head Girl. I want it so badly that I would do just about anything to get it.

I saw my friends Isabella and Emily today, Emily is a 7th year this year and so next year she wont be around and I am going to miss her a lot because she has been my friend since I was a 1st year, and its really nice having her around. Emily is the Head Girl this year and she seems to be the happiest person about that, she worked really hard to get there. She told me that it was her goal to become it and she got it. We just got a new transfer student she is a 7th year named Lindsey and well she is ok….I mean she is nice and all but sometimes she is a little bitchy. I guess that's what happens when you are forced to change schools in your last year of school. She should know that Hogwarts is the best school to be at, I feel really proud to be getting my education from here and having met all the people that I have I wouldn't change it for the world. Sure James and his friends are here but that's ok because Hogwarts wouldn't be the same without their pranks….though sometimes (ok most of the time) they get out of hand and a lot of the time they hex people who don't deserve it. There are times I wish I could just hex them but that wouldn't be right at all, I see it like this as long as they keep their pranks away from me then everything is perfect but the second that they mess with me its going to become something that they most likely will wish that they hadn't done that to me again. Last time I let them and this time its all different and I am going to fight to be treated with respect not like someone that they can push around. They will someday learn that they can't always get what they want through pranks and flirting with other girls. I am not the type of person to push around anymore I am going to get through the rest of this term and next with passing grades I don't care what it takes but that's what I really want to do.

Enough about them….so far this has been a silent term for me and I am pretty happy except even though I still live with dorm mates who are the same year as me it doesn't feel like I do because they hardly even talk to me anymore in fact they don't talk to me at all. Its kind of sad but its ok because I am use to not being talked to at all and its ok.

Well I am going to go….

Love

Lily

November 24th (Afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well I have been really busy with school and all the classes I am in haven't even given us the smallest break from work and I don't know why because we work so hard you would think that we wouldn't have to do as much homework and studying but I guess that if this is going to get me the Head Girl spot then I am going to keep on working until I reach that goal. I know that it seems like I am not having any fun but I am, I spend time with Isabella and the other girls who room with me and Isabella. We were up really late last night laughing about James getting another detention and we also talked about our classes and all the homework that we have been getting since the start of the term and we all find that all the potions essays to be more of a pain than really hard seeing as Professor Slughorn is really easy and I somehow became one of his prize students and I don't know how I did that really, because all I did was just do my best and I guess I am really good at both charms and potions. I am ok at transfiguration and pretty good at DADA. I work really hard for the grades that I have gotten and I know that Isabella has too because we all want to do well on our NEWTs that are next year and I am going to have to get my transfiguration up higher than it is now and I know that its going to take more work but I know that I can get it because I work really hard at everything. I don't need James to get there its going to take lots of hard work and hours of study to get there.

So other than all my work that I have been doing I have also been flying so that I can relax and also I have been doing my prefect rounds with Remus when he isn't sick which seems to be whenever the full moon is. I wonder if Remus is hiding something and is scared about what people might think if they found out the truth. I wonder is his friends know the truth because they seem to be gone with him and I always wonder why that is, I also wonder what's going on with James these days seeing as I avoid him whenever I see him and don't even say a civil word to him when I do have to talk with him. I kind of sort of miss the old days when him and I got along and were dating because I had someone to lean on when things got hard, someone to talk to besides my friends. Also someone to hold me when I needed it, I miss those days of kissing but I am not going to admit it ever outside this diary, and he wont find out because I keep a spell on this that only I know and also a lock and you can't just use a spell to open it you have to use a key.

Well I have to go and get back to work because I have lots of work to do and lots of reading to do.

Bye for now

Lily

November 30th (Late night)

Dear Diary

Well things are going great now, Isabella and I are partners in potions now and she became another favorite of Professor Slughorn so now I am not the only girl in the Slug Club and I am happy about that because it does get lonely being the only girl in things like when I use to do Quidditch what I did caused other girls to try out and that made me happy because it made it seem like once the other girls saw that I could make the team they got the nerve to try out and be either backups and also part of the main playing team and that made me happy. Sure we had girls making changes around Hogwarts but I would say that a lot of things have changed since I have gotten here, and I am glad that I go here and that I am a witch. Also I am glad that I have some pretty amazing friends who totally and completely have my back and would fight for my life. Sure I don't have a boyfriend anymore but the fact that I had one at a point in my school years makes me happy and proud. I am glad that I got the amazing first kiss that I had and it just so happened to have happened on my birthday. I wouldn't have changed that first kiss for anything, and also had someone care about me the way James did when we were together offering to let me stay a summer at his house and back then no matter what happened we were going to work it out and be together as long as we could and I always thought that it would be forever but its ok because I know that there is that slight chance that if James were to ever grow up and not be such a jerk to other people who are different than him that we could get back together if he were to ask because these are the times that I miss seeing the sparkle in his hazel eyes and the feeling of his arms wrapped around me. Also the feeling that if I ever needed him no matter what time he was just in the boy's dormitory and I could wake him up and talk to him or lay in his arms and know that I was going to be safe from my nightmares. I would say though that the break up made me stronger and become more of a fighter. It has also taught me that there are things that I can't look to other people for and that I have to learn how to protect myself from all the dangers and I think that I have done that. I took all my DADA classes even more seriously along with my transfiguration work and it helped me get through my OWL and get a high enough mark to continue on the NEWT level and I don't think that anything else would have made me do this than the break up.

Things are going to be different around Hogwarts when I have finished my schooling because I have a feeling that something big is going to happen to each and every one of us. Among us are future teachers, Ministry workers, healers, curse breakers, and a future Minister of Magic. We are all going to be doing something with our lives even if its just starting a family, a new generation of witches and wizards who are going to make us proud. I am ready to see what becomes of my future I know I am going to be a healer work around sick people and try to help them get better and get back to their families.

Well I better go because Isabella and I are going to sit down and talk about different things and see what we can do seeing as we are both burnt out on work and we are far ahead.

Night

Lily

December 5th (Early Morning)

Dear Diary

Well I couldn't sleep last night because I had a lot going on in my mind and I wonder when I am going to be able to relax, I can't wait until the Christmas Holidays, Isabella invited me to spend it at her place and my parents told me that it was ok with them and that they were glad that I have a close friend to spend the holidays with. They also said that my sister is going to get married in another year or so and I can't be happier for her but I know that the guy is a total jerk and isn't even that good looking, not that I am shallow or anything also mother told me that he isn't THAT smart either and she feels that my sister can do better but there isn't a way to stop her and she says that she loves him so we just have to take her word for it. I miss the days that we got along before I went to Hogwarts we were really close but then after I got my letter she became really cold to me and I wondered if maybe JUST maybe if she wanted to go with me and see what I was going to experience that she couldn't.

Also I wonder if she even had a lot of friends after I left and if that's why she is with who she is with. I don't know and I never will because now she thinks that I am a freak and that everyone that I am friends with from here is one as well.

Well I am going to go because there is a lot to do.

Love

Lily

December 6th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well today was a very good day and I am glad that it's the weekend at last, now I can relax and try not to do anymore work. Isabella says that if I do anymore that I will forget what its like to have fun and I just laugh at her saying that I want to be Head Girl and to get there its going to mean not getting to have fun all the time and then she pointed out that I have the highest grades of the whole 6th year girls and well its unclear who has the highest grades of the boys in 6th year. I would like to say that its Remus but he misses a lot of classes but then again he is a prefect as well so I would hope that he is Head Boy or someone from a different house. As long as its not James Potter then everything should be ok, I would fall over if James Potter made Head Boy that would be the biggest shocker in the work seeing as he is always in trouble and doesn't ever seem to study but then again he does have pretty good grades and when he studies he does study pretty hard so its going to be interesting to see who gets the position.

I don't know what's going to happen next year and nobody really does because things can change all the time and things happen even if we don't want it to. People change too like I know that if James and his friends wanted to grow up and stop pulling pranks that they could and I know that, people sometimes need to grow up and James is one of those because he is always making fun and pulling pranks on Severus and I don't think that its fair at all. Severus hasn't done anything to him and yet he gets pranked and to me that doesn't seem fair. Just because he is in a different house doesn't mean that you can prank him and make fun of him. He can't help it if his hair looks like he hasn't washed it but I know that he does seeing as he doesn't smell because trust me you would know if someone did seeing as we are in some of the same classes and such.

Well I am going to go and relax down by the fire with a good book.

Bye for now

Lily


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own Harry Potter

I don't own Harry Potter

December 15th (Early morning)

Dear Diary

Well everyone is getting ready to go for winter holidays and I think that I am going to have a fun one because I am going to Isabella's house and spending it there, I know that I should go back home but I don't want to because I want to be able to be away from home. I mean I love my family just I know that since I spent all summer there and I would rather spend this holiday away for that reason and I don't think that my sister wants to see me either because her and I don't get along anymore and its really not my thing to upset her anymore than I already do when I do go home. I just wrote my parents when I got invited and told them that I wasn't going to be there and they understood because they know that I really do enjoy being here at Hogwarts and that I really do enjoy hanging out with my friends and that I am really close to them as well as close to my parents and I am glad that they understand how my friends and I are.

Things here at Hogwarts haven't been that bad because things are really good when they want to be but I do know that things are going to be even more crazy when the holidays are over and that there will be even more work to be done but that's ok because I can handle it or so I hope, I just have to keep a positive outlook and know that all this is getting me ready for when I am going to be a 7th year taking NEWTs and I know that those are going to be even harder than OWLs and I have to be ready for that and I don't care how many nights that I have to stay up all night studying but I will make it through because I know that I can. I am smart and strong and just need to set my goals and keep them. I know that I can make it because I am a fighter and I always have and always will be, I wont let anyone get to me without a fight. I will get through this.

Well on a lighter topic I am pretty excited about getting to go somewhere this holiday and I know that its how its suppose to be and I am really glad that Isabella and her family invited me to go and spend time at their house its really exciting and totally going to be fun and I can't wait, I haven't been to someone's house since I went to James's so its going to be new but worth it and Isabella said that her parents are really excited to meet me and get to spend the holidays with both of us and they are going to come and get us from the train station so I am pretty excited.

Well I better go I have classes then tonight I have to pack and then tomorrow is off to Isabella's.

Bye for now

Lily

December 20th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I am at Isabella's house and it is a very nice house because its so huge and out not too far from other houses but far enough that you wont get bothered too much by other people. Also its so beautiful from just the outside because it has dark bricks and vines hanging over the right side of the house and some of the rooms in the back have a nice view of the backyard, also some of the rooms have a balcony. I love this house and I am just sitting in my room here and I would say that it's a very nice room. It has a four poster bed and different shades of reds and blues so it's a very calming. The sheets are red and white. I love this room very much. Isabella's parents are very nice and take really good care of the both of us. The food that we have had so far is amazing and I am so happy here because so far we have had lots of snowball fights and just sat in front of the fire and read some books and have so far just talked about boys, make up, and random clothes and shoes just the usual girl things. I have been having a good time and its been amazing and we haven't even talked about stupid Potter and what he's been doing to the school because well either we just haven't made it to that subject yet or she's just avoiding it all together which I don't mind because it would be a hard subject to talk about because I don't really know what to say about it at all and frankly I want to keep avoiding it.

My room is close to Isabella's room but we each have our own bathrooms which is ok by me because I like to take showers sometimes late at night to relax me if I have been having a tough day even if I am not in school. I am just happy that I am here and able to relax with Isabella, I think that tomorrow we are going to go out and ice skate on the pond near her house and we are both not sure how we are going to do but we both know that we are going to fall at least once while we are out but I know that it will be fun. I know also that I think that tomorrow we are going to also go out and have another snowball fight since we can really do that here and not get hit by anyone else but each other because usually when we have snowball fights at Hogwarts James and his friends usually get involved and don't stop until we just run away really fast and even then we just keep getting hit with snowballs.

I am going to go and take a shower and get some sleep.

Night

Lily

December 21st (Late Afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well I just got back from being outside and well I have never had that much fun in awhile we went ice skating and we fell a lot of times but each time we fell we would laugh and be like we are going to feel this later and when we got up we would just laugh some more but then Isabella said something about James and I and I just looked away and didn't answer because I didn't know what to say knowing that if I said anything she would say to just ask him back out and I don't want to do that because I just want to be alone and wait and see if he changes and grows up and stops being rude to other people because to me that's just not fair and he shouldn't be acting that way and I hate it when he pushes around Severus, I mean granted we aren't the best of friends anymore but still he is a person and he has feelings as well. I would also say that I want to wait and see if he will ever be fair to others and not using his magic on other people for other uses.

Well I am going to go and hang out with Isabella and her family.

Bye for now

Lily

December 26th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I had a great Christmas, I got some books from Isabella, a pair of Earrings from Emily and a sweater from my parents and some other things from my friends but it would be a lot of things to write but mainly it was clothes and other things to go with the clothes but I would say that the main thing is that it was a good day and now today was a great day because I got to eat leftover Christmas dinner and it was even better than yesterday and I know that the holiday is almost over and we are going to be going back to Hogwarts after the first of the year, I kind of don't want to go back because I know that all the stress is going to be back and this is the first time that I haven't thought about school and work and studying. I think that it's been a good holiday for everyone and I am going to miss it. Isabella and I were saying last night that for the first time in weeks we were not stressed out at all and having fun without the gossip of the other girls talking trash about other people in other houses so it's been a nice silent holiday.

I know that things are going to be ok and I am ready for things to go back but I like not having the stress of school and also I like not having to worry about people throwing hexes at people but I am going to enjoy going back onto prefect duties with Remus and also I am going to enjoy the ability of being able to go to the library whenever I want to because I am a prefect and also I am going to enjoy seeing my friends who are in the same or the different house as me, I am more then ready to get back to working hard for every mark that I have made in all of the 6 years that I have been at Hogwarts. I am more than ready to face James Potter again and I know that I keep going from calling him James to calling him Potter and then I combine the two together and that is because I don't know what to call him right now I mean I am mad at him and I am also in love with him and I am not sure how to act but I know that I have to wait until he makes the first move if he ever makes it and isn't being a jerk about it. I also know that I really do love him but he is too much of a jerk to ever admit that he's wrong and should grow up.

I also know that James is never going to grow up unless he feels like that he should change and I am never going to tell him that he should change and that's because I shouldn't talk to him about anything and I hate the fact that he thinks that its ok to pick on the younger years at Hogwarts and until he realizes that he needs to respect them I am not going to talk with him.

Well I better go.

Night for now

Lily

Authors note: I am sorry for the delay, I have been busy getting ready to see my man before he leaves, and also been getting ready to go to basic training.

Please R&R


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own Harry Potter

January 23rd (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I know that I haven't written in you for awhile and that's because I have gotten really busy with school and hanging out with friends. Also prefect duties have been taking up a lot of my time and I never realized how busy this year would be. I can't believe that next term I will be a 7th year and getting ready to take my NEWTs and then I will be graduating from Hogwarts. I can't believe that because its so unreal and to think that James and I haven't dated in 2 years is just unreal too because I always thought that we would be together. Today Remus and I hung out and it was pretty fun, we just sat around and talked about things going on in our lives. I am so ready for the Easter Holidays and when I told Remus this he seemed really down and I couldn't understand. I mean he always seems to get things on Easter so he must have a family of some sort but Remus has never talked about his family and that's even more odd because I would think he would talk about his family because I always seem to bring mine up because Remus asks me if I have talked with them since the last time him and I have talked when we do our rounds (well when he's there that is which isn't that often) and I tend to tell him that we did or we didn't. James hasn't been with anyone in awhile and that's odd and he's been acting nice to everyone to my knowledge but for all I know he could be doing some things when I am not looking, and for all I know he could have another girlfriend but that is something that I would like to keep in mind because he could have gotten over me really fast.

Well I am going to go because I have loads of homework to do.

Night

Lily

February 14th (Afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well today has been an awful day and let me tell you why. Today is Valentines Day and so far I have had to watch everyone snog their lovers and also I have gotten awful grades all day and I can't figure out why. I studied, I did my work, and I even did the extra work. But I guess that it could just be an off day so maybe tomorrow will get better. I still have 2 more classes so maybe I did fine in those because one of them is Charms and I know I did fine there but then again I thought I had for Potions and my other classes.

I can't stand Valentines Day all the couples so in love…I haven't had that I thought I did with James but at this point in time I am not sure because I still love him but I just can't be with him until I see that he's changed and I don't see that yet. I want to see a mature man and not a little boy that he's been acting like since first year. I want him to be mature and try to put me first and think about my feelings like he use to. Show me that he cares

Things are just so crazy and I wish that they would be a lot calmer like they were before. I am always so busy with school and I know that I am going to get my goal because its going to happen because I want to be Head Girl. That's my goal and it has been since I first got here and I know that I am going to get there because I am at the top of the class for the girls so its going to be interesting and I am going to work hard to make it.

Well I hear someone coming downstairs since I am down writing by the fire so I better go because I wouldn't want someone to read you over my shoulder.

Bye

Lily

February 14th (Late Night)

Dear Diary

Well it was Potter who came down before and I wanted to look like the serious student that I am so I had to hide you in my robe pocket and look like I was studying my transfiguration notes from the class before and so it worked and he gave me some pretty odd looks from what I could see I guess he didn't want to bother me for once which was pretty odd because James always seems to bother me whenever he sees the chance but I guess this once he didn't feel like it or he is growing up just a bit which is a nice change for him. I also saw Remus and we sat and looked through our transfiguration notes and comparing notes was really amazing because I saw what he had written and I could add some to my notes and maybe now I will do better in the class because it's the class I have the hardest time in seeing as its not really my best subject but maybe with Remus's help I will understand it better or like last year I pretty much just threw myself into it and I did really well shocking myself with my OWL scores in transfiguration.

I am having a pretty good term and seeing as its only February that's good to say. I am just ready for summer again and being home with my family, I miss them a lot but I have been sending them more mail this term than last because this term I seem to have more time except when I have to do rounds on my own or I have tons of work. I sometimes am glad that I can get more done but I miss James a lot sometimes and I wish that I had him to hold me when I need it the most and well today would have been a great day for that seeing as it was the worst day of my life. I could have used him today when I pretty much failed some things but in a way this made me stronger not having him and I kind of like that but I don't know how I feel about everything.

I am just so lost right now, part of me wishes that he could catch me now and the other half wants to figure things out on my own like I have for awhile. I want to keep going and not stop and I just hope that one day I get my happy ending I want to be married and I want to have kids one day to love and show them how wonderful it is to be loved by a mother and a father. I want the man I marry to respect me and any choice I make and I also want a man who doesn't have a temper and who can be funny so that I can have lots of laughs during my lifetime. I want kids who are going to love me no matter how old they are and also I want to be able to walk my kids to the Hogwarts platform and send them off to school.

I have so many dreams and I am going to try and reach them but for now the main goal is to get Head Girl so I can show people that its ok to be smart and its ok to study a lot so that you can reach the goals that may seem too high.

Well I am off to bed seeing as I have a long day ahead of me.

Night

Lily

Authors Note: I am so sorry I haven't had time. I have been dealing with a deployment and getting ready to leave for basic training for the Navy. I am going to finish this story though. I have it all planned out.


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own Harry Potter

May 23rd (Early Morning)

Dear Diary

I am so sorry that I haven't had time to write but I have been busy and now I am 16 and I don't feel any older and I don't know if I should because well its only 16 and well next year I will become of age. This year for my birthday I just had a girls party in the girls dorm but Remus sent me some chocolate frogs and every flavor beans which I love when I get the good flavors. I got lots of makeup from the girls which was nice because I have been wearing a bit more makeup these days and I was running low on everything and I got some eyeliner and well Isabella showed me how to wear it and I am really glad that I have really good friends that show me that I don't need a boyfriend this year. I still wish James was with me but I understand that he can't or well I don't want to be with him until he acts his age which is 16…he is a little bit older than me but he acts like he is about 14 some days but I think he is getting better because he seems to not be pulling a lot of pranks.

Well today Isabella, Marah, Emily, and I went out on the grounds and studied. Emily has NEWTs soon and she has been pretty busy with that I hadn't seen her until my birthday party and since then she has either been in her own common room that she shares with the Head Boy or in the library. She hardly comes into the house common room but I guess that's ok because well I want her to do really well on her exams because she deserves to achieve her goal. Emily wants to be a Healer like I do and I hope she makes it so that she can show me how everything is done by the time I get there. I know that we are all going to do amazing on our final exams for the term and then we are (I hope) going to do our summer homework and then before we know it going to be 7th years and showing the younger students how to manage time wisely and make good grades and choices because that's what us older students are suppose to do and well some of us show them better than others but I guess that's not always a bad thing. The younger students need a laugh every now and then like we had when we were their age. We are all different so like I show the students that I am a prefect and that I am kind of a know it all because I am always doing homework or studying and getting ready to write major papers and doing everything before its due. Isabella shows everyone that she studies yes but that she shops and is a great person to go to just to talk about problems and helps with fashion emergencies. Emily is like me but she tends to have more fun except when there are major tests like her NEWTs she has really buckled down and has just been working her butt off.

I know I tend to ramble in you but I am just not really sure what to really talk about.

Well I better go because I have classes soon and I also have rounds tonight so I have to be ready for those because I am going to have to do them myself because I haven't seen Remus yet so I am not sure if he is well or not. I am use to doing the rounds on my own though because he gets sick so often…

Well I will try and write later, I can't promise anything.

Bye for now

Lily

June 1st (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I meant to write in you later the last time that I did write in you but I got really busy and things happened like Isabella and I had a huge study party with some of the girls in or dorm and we worked on potions, transfiguration, and some other subjects that we are all having problems with and well this next is exams week and well for the 5th and 7th years its OWL or NEWT tests so we have been trying to help the 5th years study for everything that they want us to help with so that they do their very best and make it to their NEWT classes next term. Like today I helped a 5th year named Anna and she was really sweet and was having some problems with Charms so I helped her and now I think she may just get an O on her exams because I showed her how to get everything and helped her go through her book and learn the theory and everything else with charms, Anna was really funny too because she said she heard a lot about us older girls and how Isabella and I tend to work together when we plan things and how in her eyes we are the most popular girls in school when I would have to disagree with her because I would have to say that there are a million other girls who are more popular than Isabella and I, and I told Anna that it wasn't a big deal to be popular…she seemed shocked and said we were and I just decided to leave it at that.

I know that this term has been very interesting and I like that it was because it kept me from being bored. I think that exam week is going to stay silent because that's what it tends to do because of everyone stressing over exams.

Well I am going to go because I should be studying.

Night

Lily

June 13th (Afternoon)

Well I am almost done with my exams and I have started getting all my stuff ready to go home for the holidays. I know that I haven't written in you a lot this year compared to the last 2 years but this year has been super busy with all the work I had to do in my NEWT level classes and trying not to fall behind and there were nights that I would fall asleep the second that my head hit the pillow and then there were nights that I was up working on homework all night. So with things going like that it didn't leave me with much time to write which was awful because I love writing in you because it helps me get my feelings out and helps me relax after a long day, but with my dream to be Head Girl next year I spent my time studying and working hard to get the professors to see that I am a serious student and that I can handle all the pressures of being a prefect so that they know that I will be able to handle them as Head Girl on top of staying on the top list of girls. That's what took up my time this term but I would say that after how well I feel I know that it was worth it because I have never felt this good since James dumped me, I feel happy and pretty much feel like jumping up and down to celebrate a good year of no boy stress and no worries about boys. It felt really nice but in a way I wished that I had some drama to keep things going but also it was nice to have a somewhat silent year with the only drama being school work related. I just can't wait until I get back home to my parents and well my sister if she will talk to me. I have been talking to Isabella and Emily and seeing if they would want to come and spend a week or 2 at my house but they said they would get back with me on that. Emily might not be able to because she is going to have to start training for her job (she is going to start early so that maybe she can finish early which isn't a bad plan seeing how the world is today) and Isabella said that she would have to see what her families plans were because they tend to go places over the summer and spend time with out of town family.

I guess it wouldn't be a bad thing if I had to spend a summer on my own with my family seeing as it would be my last summer before I went off to train to be a healer so maybe I should enjoy it. I spend last summer on my own and it didn't kill me but I will never forget the summer before last when I spent it at James's house now that was fun because he was there and I don't think I had ever laughed that much. But those days are gone and I guess I just have the memories and I wouldn't change them for the world.

I sometimes think that this whole breakup is just a dream that I am going to wake up in his arms and everything is going to be ok but then I realize that its not but knowing what I do now, I can see I am a stronger woman than I was back then. I want him to see that I am not the same but I don't think he sees that yet.

Well I am going to go because I need to study for the finals that I have left.

Bye

Lily

Authors Note: sorry that this chapter is short but I am tired and have been getting ready to go to basic but my plan is that if I don't have Lily's Diary year 7 done then I will finish it after basic while I am in A school or where I am stationed so never fear.

R&R


End file.
